Port Authorities lose by 29 to Boston
Port Authorities vs Boston Massacre | April 23, 2011 | Bout Recap by Milhouse Van Bouten
PORTLAND, ME. The Boston Massacre are a team with a loyal devoted fanbase and a proud history of competency in the highest levels of competition. As a major hub in derby popularity and prosperity for New England, Boston (ranked 4th WFTDA East) and Portland (ranked 9thWFTDA East) are no strangers to each other as off-track friends and on-track enemies. In their last official meeting back in Feb 2009, Boston hammered the Port Authorities at home, winning by 104 points. After over 2 years, it was Portland’s turn to host the powerhouse Massacre for a return match at the Portland Expo.
photo by Scott Lovejoy
Both teams brought with them their share of walking wounded. Boston superstar blocker Harlot Fevah was reduced to crutches due to three herniated disks (ouch), but that could not stop her from making the trip to watch among the rest of the Boston faithful, who had brought a Massacre banner to mark their territory. For Portland, a broken wrist kept heavy hitter Li’l Punisher off skates. Portland’s compact roster would find themselves squeezed even tighter unexpectedly, as both WrexZilla and Polly Gone benched themselves after the warm-ups due to injury and illness. With history already against the Port Authorities, the huge mountain that was the Boston Massacre had suddenly gotten even bigger. And so they started to climb it.
photo by Scott Lovejoy
The first jam set a fevered, defensive pace as Boston jammer Claire D. Way barely beat Portland’s Grim D. Mise to the front of the pack to grab lead, but was forced to call scoreless as Grim tailgated her to the pack. Spry Icicle grabbed 3 points for Portland in jam two as Boston jammer Krushpuppy was called on a major, and Portland blockers Itsy Bitsy Fighter and Barbara Ambush secured a brief trap on Dee Stortion. Claire D. Way took the lead back with 4 points in jam four over Itsy Bitsy Fighter, who was slowed by sniping hits from Anna Wrecksya.
Boston forced themselves into control by grabbing lead for 17 of the 23 jams in the first half using the phenomenal defense of Shellby Shattered, who was able to partner at the front of the pack to neutralize Portland’s top jammer Grim D. Mise long enough to allow her own jammer through. The control would pay dividends in the last half of period one as Boston skated a nine jam scoring streak, punctuated by a 10-point power jam from Claire D. Way, 14-point jam from Ivana Shankabitch, and 12-point power jam from KrushPuppy. In the same time frame, Portland jammer Itsy Bitsy Fighter was the only offense for the home team, grabbing 3 points in jam 19. Despite the landslide, spectacular defense on both sides kept the score a fairly low 69 – 21 in favor of Boston.
The second half began as evenly as the first, with Boston taking a slight edge in scoring momentum. Claire D. Way wore the star for Boston in jam seven and received a major elbow penalty. With no other jammer to worry about, Portland’s Spry Icicle and Crystal Whip scrambled to trap a Boston blocker. While neither was successful for long, the efforts slowed the pack long enough for Portland’s Barbara Ambush to rack up 10 unanswered points, and the Port Authorities had a pulse. Claire D. Way and KrushPuppy attempted to squash the momentum there by scoring 7 – 0 in jams nine and ten.
photo by Johanna Bobrow
In jam 11, Grim D. Mise took the jammer line against Boston’s Dee Stortion, this time with Shellby Shattered in the box. With no Shellby to contend with, Grim received a whip from Punchy O’Guts for the jam lead while Itsy Bitsy Fighter kept Dee Stortion busy. Dee was called on a major mid-jam, and Grim dropped 15 points on the trapped Massacre, sending the crowd into a full-blown frenzy and cutting Boston’s lead down to 31.
The Massacre, however, refused to loosen their stranglehold on the lead as Ivana Shankabitch and Claire D. Way combined for 18 – 0 points in jams 14 and 15. With time running out, Portland put Grim D. Mise on the jammer line again against KrushPuppy. KrushPuppy was called on a major, allowing Grim to charge unopposed through Dee Stortion and Etta Maims for 14 – 0 points. Claire D. Way scored 7 – 3 over Itsy Bitsy Fighter in jam 18, giving Boston a 42-point lead on the scoreboard. With under 2 minutes left, Grim jammed against Boston’s Shark Week. Lois Blow slowed Shark Week down while Grim skated around the pair of Etta Maims and Maura Buse for lead. Shark Week attempted a star pass to Lady Shatterly, which was ruled illegal, thus resetting their offensive progress. With nothing left to lose, Grim turned on her jets for multiple passes, but a 4th minor penalty sent her to the box after scoring 13 points. Final score: Boston 113 – Portland 84.
Port Authorities Roster
Barbara Ambush | Crystal Whip | Grim D. Mise | Itsy Bitsy Fighter | Lez Lemon | Li’l Punisher | Lois Blow | Mae Snap | Polly Gone | Punchy O’Guts | Shirley B. Slammin’ | Spry Icicle | T-Storm | WrexZilla
Boston Massacre Roster
Anita Bangher | Anna Wrecksya | Claire D. Way | Dee Stortion | Etta Maims | Harlot Fevah | Ivanna Shankabitch | KrushPuppy | Lady Shatterly | Maura Buse | Quick Sandy | Shark Week | Shellby Shattered | Speed Metal
Most Valuable Players
Portland: Grim D. Mise
Boston: Claire D. Way
Top Scorers
Portland: Grim D. Mise (55)
Boston: Claire D. Way (52)
