Port Authorities 168, Stepford Sabotage 156
The Port Authorities vs. CTRG Stepford Sabotage | April 27, 2013 | The Portland Expo | Bout Recap by Zeldangerous
Tonight’s matchup marked game number two of the evening for Maine Roller Derby’s first double header event, at the Portland Expo Center. After the Calamity Janes powered through Connecticut’s Yankee Brutals to win 178-101, the Port Authorities geared up to take a second victory for MRD. However, the Stepford Sabotage All-Stars were out for revenge, and would certainly make the PAs fight for every point.
Sabotage started strong with Kathryn Brunetti grabbing lead jammer and scoring a natural grand slam (5-0) while MRD’s Spry Icicle was tied up in the pack. In the next jam, MRD retaliated with Grim D. Mise, who took the outside to score 5 points right back. It was then you knew this match would be a nail-biter. The PAs and Sabotage traded off points in next three jams, keeping the score tied 9-9. The Port Authorities were then left scoreless in jams 5 through 8, despite Kissy Kicks and Grim D. Mise grabbing lead jammer. A back block called on MRD’s Spry Icicle in Jam 8 gave the Sabotage jammer Krazy Legz Nikki a great 15 point power jam. Grim fought back in the next jam to shut out CT’s momentum 4-0.
Things were looking up as PA jammer Bea Nimble stepped up to jam, with two CT blockers in the box. A track cut penalty called on CT’s jammer Eleanor Bruisevelt as Bea ducked around the outside was just what the PA’s needed to close the gap and pull ahead. Unfortunately, Bea Nimble was also called on a track cut, limiting Bruisevelt’s time in the box. Shortly after Bea left the box and with no lead jammer, the full 2-minute jam ended in favor of the PA’s 5-3. Seconds before the jam ended, another track cut was assessed on CT’s Eleanor Bruisevelt, allowing the Port Authorities to start Jam 11 on a power jam. Naturally, Grim D. Mise was put on the line to even out the score, which was, at the time, 30-18 in favorite of the Sabotage. With amazing finesse, Grim balanced on one foot just around the first turn to earn lead jammer and begin racking up points for the PAs. By the time the Sabotage jammer was released from the box, it was too late – Grim had already scored 24 points for the PAs, now putting them in the lead 42-30.
MRD skater Spry Icicle earned lead jammer as CT jammer Krazy Legz Nikki was sent to the box on a track cut. With the help of PA blockers Tri-Scare-a-tops and Crystal Whip, along with Spry forcing some huge whiffs on the Sabotage blockers, Spry earned 15 more points for the PAs, widening the gap 57-30. The next three jams left the PAs scoreless, as the Sabotage picked up 13 points in two jams, closing in 57-43. However, those would be the last points the Sabotage score for the rest of the first half. Grim forced a track cut on the opposing jammer and scored 10 more points. Crystal Whip took the star for the next jam, earning a quick lead but called the jam 0-0 as CT jammer Krazy Legz Nikki caught up to her. Jams 18-22 saw the PAs earning points and shutting out the Sabotage jammers and blockers. Spry Icicle, Kissy Kicks, Grim D. Mise, and Crystal Whip all contributed towards the half-time score of 93-43.
Port Authorities jammer Bea Nimble started the second half strong by earning lead jammer and calling it off 3-0. A forearm penalty called on Sabotage jammer Ether Bunny gave way for Grim to earn a whopping 25 points with a powerful apex jump. When Ether Bunny was released from the box, she managed to earn 4 points for the Sabotage before the jam ended. After jam 2 in the second half, the score was 121-47 in favor of the Port Authorities. The Sabotage began chipping away at the point differential for the beginning of the second half, while Grim earned 10 points in Jam 5 thanks to great positional blocking by PA’s Kissy Kicks, Crazy Buchanan, Dollipops and Lil’ Punisher. In Jam six, Sabotage blocker Girl Fawkes did solid positional blocking on PA jammer Spry Icicle, paving way for CT to earn 14 points. The score was now 131-65. Jams 7-14 were quiet, with both teams swapping lead jammers and quick-point earnings. In Jam 15 Sabotage jammer Eleanor Bruisevelt scored three natural grand slams (15 points) while PA jammer Bea Nimble was held up in the pack. Grim D. Mise grabbed lead jammer and three more points in Jam 16. With the score now 144-88, the Sabotage turned on the jets to seriously close the gap and strike fear into the Port Authorities.
Jams 17 and 18 both saw power jams for the Stepford Sabotage. In Jam 17, a low block on MRD’s Spry Icicle led CT’s Ether Bunny to earn a solid 25 points; 144-113 with only 9 minutes left in the game. In Jam 18 Spry returned from the box only to be sent back on a back block penalty, paving way for CT’s Black Cherry to earn 20 more points; 144-133. Things were tense on the track, so MRD’s Grim D. Mise smartly began Jam 19 by hitting CT jammer Eleanor Bruisevelt out of bounds and skating backwards around the track. Grim skated the entirety of the track, forcing Eleanor to enter in play within the pack, putting her one pass behind her initial scoring pass. Grim earned 4 points before calling the jam off – running down the period clock and spreading the points a bit more. Another penalty called on MRD’s Spry Icicle gave CT’s jammer Krazy Legz Nikki the power jam that would tie the score after her 15-point jam, 148-148.
Three minutes left in the period and Grim D. Mise stood on the jammer line against CT’s Black Cherry. Grim hit her way through the pack to earn lead jammer and score 4 more points for the PAs. Two minutes left and Spry takes the jammer star for the PAs to redeem herself for past penalties in earlier jams. Spry played smart and saw the holes her blockers Nauti Roller, T-Storm and Tri-Scare-a-tops made for her to grab 3 points, leaving the Sabotage scoreless again. The score was 155-148 and there was enough time for one, possibly two more jams. Could CT pull through, sending Krazy Legz Nikki up against Grim D. Mise? PA blockers Cherry Clobber, Kissy Kicks, RED-Demption, and Lil’ Punisher helped positionally block Krazy Legz Nikki while Grim ran down the period clock. Although Grim was lead jammer, she did not call the jam off before the other team could score points and instead worked on earning more points on more passes than Black Cherry. This lead the score to increase for both teams, although more slowly for Connecticut. Grim and Krazy both completed a 4-point pass before PA blockers held Krazy long enough for Grim to lap her, earning 5 points for MRD. The period clock had not run out yet, so Krazy was able to score another 4 points before Grim called off the jam, in total earning 13 points for the Port Authorities and only 8 for the Sabotage. Caesar Foulin’s smart coaching on the last jam solidified the Port Authorities’ close victory over CT’s Stepford Sabotage, 168-156.
TOP SCORERS
Port Authorities: Grim D. Mise (114)
Stepford Sabotage: Krazy Legz Nikki (52)
MOST VALUABLE BLOCKERS
Port Authorities: Cherry Clobber
Stepford Sabotage: Luciana Pulverotti
MOST VALUABLE JAMMERS
Port Authorities: Spry Icicle
Stepford Sabotage: Black Cherry
PORT AUTHORITIES ROSTER
A-Block | Bea Nimble | Cherry Clobber | Crazy Buchanan | Crystal Whip | Dollipops | Grim D. Mise | Kissy Kicks | Lil’ Punisher | Margot Tenenbomb | Nauti Roller | Princess Layherout | RED-Demption | Spry Icicle | Tri-Scare-a-tops | T-Storm
STEPFORD SABOTAGE ROSTER
Black Cherry | Bonnie Voyage | C. Mya Rage | Delilah Dread | Doomcake | Eleanor Bruisevelt | Ether Bunny | Folsom Bruise | Girl Fawkes | Kathryn Brunetti | Krazy Legz Nikki | Luciana Pulverotti | Parker Poison | Scorn Muffin | Shiny Toy Buns | VelociSlaptHer | Your Mom
