Port Authorities 154, Connecticut Stepford Sabotage 79
Bout Recap by Milhouse Van Bouten
The atmosphere was electric. Just a week before, the Port Authorities took down the SufferJets with little effort. CT RollerGirl’s Stepford Sabotage, their opponents, returned to the Portland Expo looking for a win. The two teams had met, back in May of 2008, in a relatively low-scoring bout (87-39) in Portland where the Port Authorities claimed victory. The following December, the Port Authorities traveled to Connecticut to steal another win (120-82). While history favored Maine, both teams had made years of strides since that bout, only Connecticut returned with virtually the same roster to find just two familiar faces – Punchy O’Guts and Patty O’Mean. The Port Authorities roster saw far more change, which posed a challenge for the new team, up against a solid roster of veteran skaters. The Sabotage returned to Portland with an eleven-skater roster, with one skater injured, which put them down to ten skaters. The Port Authorities, too, rolled with an eleven-skater roster, playing just nine of those skaters regularly.
The Sabotage’s last bout was a heartbreaker at home, falling behind to the DC Rollergirls in the last 2 minutes and losing by a tiny 6 points. One can only assume the loss left a bad taste in their mouths, and the team in pink and green were hell-bent on flipping two scripts on the Port Authorities: righting their own ship and serving up some two-year cold revenge.
After a few love slaps between Port Authorities blockers, the first whistles blew and the Sabotage came out swinging. Murphy’s Outlaw and Luciana Pulverotti successfully shut down PA jammer Shirley B. Slammin’ while their teammate Pearl Jammer flew for a solid eight points. In Jam 2, the Port Authorities counter-punched: PA blocker Fist City Kitty dropped CT jammer Black Cherry, allowing PA jammer Grim D. Mise to take lead status. However, after running into a heavy hit from CT’s Ether Bunny, Grim was forced to call with only 1 point.
In jam 3, PA jammer Spry Icicle faced off against CT jammer C. Mya Rage. Spry forced Rage to the crowded inside of the track and escaped first, but did not earn lead. Rage was called on a major cut, and the PAs switched to all-offense to gain ground. Spry rapidly caught up and entered the pack, but was called on a major cut, well before Rage’s minute penalty was over. Both teams flipped strategy on the fly as Rage burst back onto the track after serving mere seconds. CT successfully created a trap and slowed the pack, but it was right in front of the penalty box where Spry’s shortened penalty expired. She used the route CT created for Rage to put herself back in scoring position. By the end of the jam, Spry picked up four points for Maine, and Rage slipped in one for CT.
During the fourth jam, CT’s Pearl Jammer was knocked off track by PA’s Punchy O’Guts, allowing Punchy’s jammer Grim to grab lead status. However, CT’s defense was a machine and continually clogged the front of the pack, forcing the PAs to play at their speed. Grim and Pearl each scored one. CT’s defense continued to pick up steam through the eighth jam, when CT jammer Rage stretched PA blockers Fist City Kitty and Itsy Bitsy Fighter out of play to get her lead. CT blockers Black Cherry and Murphy’s Outlaw trapped on Kitty and slowed the pack to a crawl. Rage slid through blocks from Spry and Patty O’Mean for what looked like easy points. Murphy’s Outlaw dropped PA blocker Li’l Punisher, who was coming off a penalty, right before the jam ending whistles. It was a 14-0 point jam for Rage, and the Port Authorities found themselves reeling in front of a shocked Expo crowd.
The Port Authorities called a timeout to talk things over and disrupt CT’s rolling momentum. Jam 9 slowed the bleeding for the PAs, as CT’s Milla LowLife was only able to score 3-0 over Grim. In jam 10, the PA’s defense finally found a way to shift into gear. CT jammer Rage, who had been walking all over the PA blockers thus far, found herself hammered off-track by the hard-hitting Patty O’Mean and then again by Fist City Kitty, allowing Spry to grab lead and a critical 9-0 points over CT. The fans came alive. Then Grim scored another 4-0 in jam 11, and CT burned a timeout themselves, unhappy with the change in momentum.
Through the rest of the half both teams locked in defensively. In jam 14, jammer Grim was blasted by CT pivot Luciana Pulverotti, both quick to recover. Grim was still able to grab lead while CT jammer Pearl Jammer was in the box. Maine clamped a trap on CT blocker Black Cherry, but Cherry caught Grim with a hit and pulled back, giving her team time to break the trap. Then the PAs trapped Girl Fawkes, at which point Grim got through for six points. In jam 17, PA blocker Patty O’Mean displayed superb skills holding CT’s jammer Pearl Jammer inside the pack. However, Pearl Jammer flashed excellent two-way player skills of her own by switching to defense and holding jammer Grim in the back of the pack. As Patty dropped back to assist Grim, Pearl burst forward and escaped the pack herself, catching up and forcing Grim to call with only two points. The game switched in CT’s favor, as they scored a 9-0 point differential in the final two jams. The first half ended with two PAs in the box, and CT with the edge of a six-point spread: 46-40.
The second half began with CT in the advantage. Black Cherry jammed around a trapped Itsy Bitsy Fighter for another 8-0 points for CT. After killing the penalties, the PAs recovered a bit in jam 2, with Grim absorbing a hit from Parker Poison to grab lead and four points. In jam 4, CT’s Pearl Jammer hit Grim into a trap, but was then hit herself by PA blockers Itsy Bitsy Fighter and Punchy . CT’s Girl Fawkes drew a back blocking major penalty on Grim by stopping directly in front of her, allowing teammate Pearl Jammer to score a 10-4 differential. Luciana Pulverotti drew another major back block, but only after Fighter scored seven points.
It was evident the PAs had a counter-strategy in jam 7, as blockers Punchy, Patty and Shirley held hands to keep their formation at the front of the pack and conserve energy instead of racing the pack while Fighter, their jammer, rode the penalty clock. Stepford looked to re-establish control in jam 8 as Pearl Jammer scored an 8-3 differential over Li’l Punisher, serving time in the box. In jam 9, the PAs turned to their young gun Grim to make a change. As CT’s Pearl Jammer found herself in trouble with the law Grim used her speed to slide outside of Black Cherry and Luciana for the lead. Milla LowLife escaped a trap attempt, but Grim’s tremendous hustle found open holes and she continued to pile points, as well as drawing an out of play major on Black Cherry. By the end of the jam, Grim had scored 14-0, and the Port Authorities had taken the lead on the scoreboard 78-76.
CT called a timeout, which served them well as they returned to the track with guns blazing. In jam 10, PA jammer Spry was blasted by blockers Milla LowLife and Rage, but still able to recover for lead. CT’s Pearl Jammer followed closely on her heels and was able to snag the two points necessary to tie the game at 78. In the next jam, Grim battled CT’s Murphy’s Outlaw, resulting in a 3-1 point differential favoring the PAs to take back the lead at 81-79.
The Port Authorities called timeout. After a quick conference, Spry lined up on the jammer line against Rage. After the whistle, Spry crashed into the pack, looking for a whip from Punchy, which she received, straight into lead status. Rage was assessed penalty time, leaving Spry as the lone jammer. Patty O’Mean knocked Girl Fawkes off track and the PAs held their ground, allowing Spry to make multiple passes. The CT blockers, confused and slow to react as Spry sprinted through several scoring passes, infuriated their team bench. Near the end of the jam, PA blocker Crystal Whip reached back and threw Spry ahead for last-second points, but the play caused Spry to crash into a blocker and receive a major back block penalty. At the end of the jam, Spry had scored 16-0, making the score 97-79 in favor of Maine, but leaving CT with a power jam.
CT selected Milla LowLife to counter the PA’s momentum, but blockers Patty and Shirley caught Milla near the front of the pack and held on, desperately trying to keep her from gaining lead status. As Milla scrambled to escape, she was assessed a penalty and sent to the box. Furious over the call, she vehemently protested to the referees and fans while making her way to the penalty area. By the time she got there, she had earned two misconduct majors, cancelling CT’s ability to score for the next three crucial minutes in the bout. Meanwhile, Spry returned to the track, and her blockers locked a trap on Luciana. Spry picked up where she left off, drilling point after point on the board for the PAs, while drawing easy penalties on enraged CT skaters. By the time the jam was over, Spry scored a 19-0 point jam, making that 35 points in a row.
Stunned by the growing point spread, CT could not keep composure. As the teams lined up for jam 14, Girl Fawkes pleaded with her bench to send a teammate to fill the line, as they were one blocker short, but the CT bench was too harried to notice. The whistle blew, and it was too late. Grim took full advantage and skated for an easy lead. PA blockers trapped Murphy’s Outlaw, allowing Grim to pile on another 19 points while CT remained jammerless. The home crowd thundered the Expo with elated cheers and applause.
In jam 15, Milla LowLife returned to the track, still fuming, and caused healthy havoc with several vicious, legal hits on the PA blockers. CT did not generate any offense to stop PA jammer Itsy Bitsy Fighter from scoring another 10-0 points. In the next and final jam CT’s Rage grabbed lead, but was sent to the box, leaving Grim as the only jammer on track. With an insurmountable lead in the Port Authorities’ pocket and seconds left in the bout, Grim skated through the pack backwards for the next five points. The Expo crowd roared with excitement, as she returned to the pack to earn another five points before Luciana caught her with a shoulder. Grim called the jam, ending the bout.
Video recap compiled by Punchy O’Guts
Final score: Port Authorities 154, Stepford Sabotage 79.
~Top Scorers~
Stepford Sabotage: Pearl Jammer (38)
Port Authorities: Grim D. Mise (75)
~Most Valuable Players~
Stepford Sabotage: Black Cherry
Port Authorities: Punchy O’Guts
Stepford Sabotage Roster:
Black Cherry | C. Mya Rage | Ether Bunny | Girl Fawkes | Luciana Pulverotti | Milla LowLife | Murphy’s Outlaw | Parker Poison | Pearl Jammer | Pepper Grind-Her
Port Authorities Roster:
Crystal Whip | Fist City Kitty | Grim D. Mise | Itsy Bitsy Fighter | Li’l Punisher | Maulie MacKill’em | Patty O’Mean | Punchy O’Guts | Shirley B. Slammin’ | Spry Icicle | WrexZilla
