Port Authorities 120, Skate Free or Die 199
THE PORT AUTHORITIES VS THE SKATE FREE OR DIE ALL-STARS | MAY 11, 2013 | THE PORTLAND EXPO | BOUT RECAP BY JIMMY ROLLSOME
Roller derby returned to the Portland Expo on Saturday May 11, 2013, with the Skate Free Or Die All-Stars of New Hampshire Roller Derby crossing the border to face off against Maine Roller Derby’s Port Authorities. The two teams are no strangers to each other: they faced off twice during the 2012 season with each team picking up a win on the other’s home turf (MRD winning in May and NHRD taking the September rematch). Both teams came into Saturday’s bout looking to pick up bragging rights and the advantage in their continuing rivalry.
After the teams’ introductions, Spry Icicle met NHRD’s Chicana Bruzya at the jammer line to start the bout. The fast paced first half showcased the importance of the power jam in this sport with each of the five lead changes taking place on the power jam. At even strength, MRD jumped out to a quick 17-4 lead in jam 2 when Grim D. Mise picked up 13 of her 80 points, including two natural “grand slams”. NHRD would answer the offense and took the lead in jam 7 after MRD jammer, Kissy Kicks, went to the penalty box for a back block allowing Chicana Bruzya to score 19 points on the ensuing power jam. NHRD’s lead was short lived, as MRD’s Grim D. Mise scored 20 points on the power jam in jam 9. The lead changed again on Jam 10 when Katrina Swirko picked up 20 points after coming out the penalty box. The fourth lead change of the half followed in jam 11, when Grim D. Mise scored 17 points on the power jam to make it 55-48, after NHRD’s Game Ovaries went to the box on a track cut. The MRD blockers would keep NHRD in check in jams 12 through 16 holding them scoreless. Highlights included a big hit by Cherry Clobber that sent jammer Chicana Bruzya off the track in jam 13, and Nauti Roller recycling Katrina Swirko, which contributed to Kissy Kicks picking up lead status for MRD in jam 14. Grim D. Mise, Spry Icicle, and Kissy Kicks each contributed from the jam line during this time to make the score 74 – 48 in favor of the Port Authorities. Jams 17 though 22 were dominated by NHRD, as they held MRD scoreless and penalties made it difficult to maintain a presence in the pack. Katrina Swirko had three natural grand slams in jam 17 for 15 points, and Game Ovaries scored 23 points in jam 18 on the power jam to take the lead for NHRD 74-86. NHRD continued to apply the pressure and put up an additional 12 points in jams 20, 21, and 22. After a rollercoaster ride of a first half, the score was 74-98 in favor of the Skate Free Or Die All-Stars of NHRD. “Power Jam” is the word of the day, folks.
MRD started off the second half down by 24 points, but if there was anything to be learned from the first half, it was that no lead was safe and a well-timed power jam could make all of the difference. MRD started the second half looking to regain their momentum while NHRD sought to build on theirs. For the rest of the bout, gaining lead jammer was paramount for dictating the pace and scoring with NHRD holding lead jammer status for eight out of first ten jams. NHRD “hit it and quit it” in the first three jams picking up 8 points to MRD’s 2. Jam 4 saw Chicana Bruzya open things up on the power jam putting 14 points on the board. NHRD picked up 7 quick points between jams 5 and 6 before a brief stalemate in jams 7 and 8 where neither team scored. Penalties were continuing to be an issue for MRD. NHRD built on their lead in jam 9 when Chicana Bruzya picked up 15 points on the power jam while Spry Icicle could only manage to score 3 points before going to the penalty box. Around this time, Pixie Quikenwitty called the MRD faithful to arms and the crowd responded with a roar. MRD gained some much needed power jam time, allowing Grim D. Mise to juke her way to 10 points in jam 10 and Spry Icicle to grab 10 points of her own in jam 11. The crowd was back in it with the score 99-142 and 14:01 left on the clock. MRD jammers continued to chip away in jams 12 through 14 picking up 9 points, which included 4 points in jam 13 where Grim D. Mise hastily called off the jam from one foot. MRD’s blockers recovered and held NHRD jammers to 1 point during jams 10 through 15 with Red-Demption recycling Chicana Bruzya in jam 14. The speed of Grim D. Mise forced the lead jammer, Game Ovaries, to call off jam 15 with the score 108-143 in favor of NHRD. Jam 16 saw Spry Icicle in the box for a track cut giving NHRD the power jam with Katrina Swirko hauling in a staggering 30 points. NHRD would pick up lead jammer status in jams 17 through 22 thus denying MRD the opportunity to reverse the momentum. Quick scoring passes by NHRD in jams 17 and 18 brought the score to 108-179 with six minutes left on the clock. NHRD continued to “hit it and quit it” in jams 19 and 20 before running out the clocking in jams 21 and 22. Spry Icicle scored 4 points in jam 21, while Grim D. Mise scored 8 points in the 22nd and final jam of the bout. The final whistle blew and the score was 120-199 with NHRD’s Skate Free Or Die All-Stars victorious.
After NHRD made their victory lap and MRD had taken their turn around the track to accept the crowd’s love and before the MVPs were awarded, there was a special announcement. It was announced that Grim D. Mise had met her fundraising goal in order to go to the US National Team tryouts this summer and then representatives from NHRD presented Grim with a check in support of her endeavor. I thought that was a really classy thing to do. A great day of derby, and I cannot wait for the next time that these two teams meet.
Top Scorers
The Port Authorities: Grim D. Mise (80)
Skate Free Or Die All-Stars: Katrina Swirko (87)
Most Valuable Jammers
The Port Authorities: Grim D. Mise
Skate Free Or Die All-Stars: Chicana Bruzya
Most Valuable Blockers
The Port Authorities: Red-Demption
Skate Free Or Die All-Stars: Chicka Chicka Bam Bam
Port Authorities Roster
A-Block | Bea Nimble | Cherry Clobber | Crazy Buchanan | Crystal Whip | Dollipops | Grim D. Mise | Kissy Kicks | Lil’ Punisher | Nauti Roller | Red-Demption | Spry Icicle | Tri-SCARE-a-tops | T-Storm
Skate Free Or Die All-Stars Roster
Chicana Bruzya | Game Ovaries | Katrina Swirko | Pammy Decker | Rage of Aquarius | Chicka Chicka Bam Bam | Cee N. Spots | Bash | Ivanna B. Vicious | N. Raging Grace | McKILLA Queen | Liv N. Fear | Crueliette Lewis | Emma Donnelly
