MRD’s First Charity Bout: Thanks for Giving!
THANKS FOR GIVING (and giving… and giving) | Nov 19, 2011 | Happy Wheels, Portland ME | Bout Recap by Milhouse Van Bouten
November 19th marked the five year anniversary of MRD’s first public bout, the Sneak Peek, and brought a different kind of derby to the fans of Portland, Maine. The athletes of MRD split their roster in a manner similar to the Wicked vs Good annual tradition, but this time, dividing into the neon and jeggings-clad Aquanets and the dark, moody Flannel Fatales. Splitting the athletes into two lively polar opposites for the sake of competition was nothing new. However, the most notable difference in this Thanks for Giving bout was a third group of participants: the crowd. Audience members had a direct impact on the game: they spent money to add or subtract points, sent players to the box, sprung players from the box and paid to switch players to the other team. All proceeds were donated to the Hardy Girls Healthy Women, a nonprofit organization dedicated to the health and well being of girls and women. In the spirit of giving and supporting a good cause fans had the added benefit of causing some hardy healthy havoc on the track and forcing their favorite players (and others) to do their bidding.
Having no idea what to expect from the fan participation, the skaters stuck with what they did know: playing each other hard. The ‘Nets had speed on their side, as jammers Grim D. Mise and Kissy Kicks combined for 18 points in the first 2 jams, and Grim along with Crazy Buchanan forced quick calls from Fatales jammers Spry Icicle and Shirley B. Slammin, which kept the Fatales scoreless through jam 4.
Meanwhile, the crowd started to find their voice and bought some penalties and points while the action continued. Despite these penalties commanded by the audience, the skaters themselves weren’t completely defenseless, and many (Grim D. Mise, Busty Mayhem, and Punchy O’Guts among many others) posted their own bail to get back to the action. However, referee Foul Plague had no choice but to serve his full time, much to the crowd’s delight.
photo by Scott LovejoyAs the crowd settled into their position of power, the Aquanets established a strong pace through the middle of the first half, scoring 49 points while the Fatales managed 9. By jam 17, the Fatales realized they needed to shrug their signature apathy. Spry icicle snagged lead and rounded up 12 unanswered points, and the venue reeked of teen spirit. With the Aquanets stunned, Shirley B. Slammin’ and Li’l Punisher followed suit, helping the Fatales finish the half very strong by combining for 22 more points in the last 4 jams while the Aquanets scrambled for 1. The ‘Nets still had the lead at halftime, 71 – 50, but the momentum was all on the Flannel Fatales side.
However, the crowd’s donations had not yet been tabulated. At the end of the half, the point purchases added a net gain of 20 points to the Fatales and a net loss of 19 points from the Aquanets. As if the Aquanets needed more bad news, the score was nearly reversed on them, putting the Fatales in the lead 70 – 52.
Further shaking up the situation, the crowd purchased two team trades: Grim D. Mise and Punchy O’Guts went from glee to grunge, when fans traded them from the Aquanets to the Fatales. The captains and coaches of the ‘Nets chose Li’l Punisher and Spry Icicle to fill the gap, and it was truly a brand new game.
Both teams seemed a little stunned at the shakeup, as the first 3 jams were scoreless. Neither team managed more than one pass worth of points until jam 12, when Grim D. Mise, now a Fatale, fired the first heavy shot by repeating Spry’s 12-0 point jam. Three jams later, she followed up with an more impressive 20-0.
photo by Scott LovejoyBy jam 15, the Flannel Fatales had nearly double the points of the Aquanets and looked to be living up to their name, sealing the fates of their opponents. Although a win seemed all but assured, the crowd blasted their authority and sent referees Ian Fluenza and Ruth of all Evil, ‘Nets coach Caesar Foulin’, announcer Pixie Quickenwitty and even Thanksgiving day mascot Mr. Giblets to the box just to let them everyone know who was in charge. But despite all the fun, the audience’s whims still had the potential to be a very powerful variable.
During all of the chaos spurred on by the crowd, another story began to develop on the track. Spry Icicle, now jamming for the Aquanets, picked up a seemingly benign 2-0 jam in jam 16. Two jams later, she kicked into gear and scored 9-2. Spry was once again the agent of change for her team as ‘Nets teammate jammer Kissy Kicks piled on 13 more points and the place started to smell less like teen spirit and more like aerosal. The Aquanets continued to pepper away at the Fatales lead, while keeping them scoreless, but time was running out. In the final jam, Crazy Buchanan went for broke and galloped for 26-0 points, the highest scoring jam of the bout. The dazzling last-ditch effort brought the Aquanets within 1 point of tying the Fatales on the scoreboard. The score at the end of regulation was Aquanets 123, Flannel Fatales 124.
…But, there another wildcard had yet to be played.
The audience took advantage of their power and purchased more scoring changes ($1 per point). The Fatales gained 1 point, and the Aquanets, who had clearly won the crowd’s favor, gained 60 points. Once all the calculations were complete, the Aquanets, with the crowd’s generosity, declared victory: 183 – 125.
The true winners, of course, were Hardy Girls Healthy Women, who received over $1300 worth of donated funds from the bout proceeds thanks to our kind-hearted, fun-loving derby crowd. Congratulations to everyone involved in the successful and memorable night!
photo by Scott LovejoyMVPS
Aquanets: Mother Bones
Flannel Fatales: Punchy O’Guts
TOP SCORERS
Aquanets: Crazy Buchanan | 48 pts
Flannel Fatales: Grim D. Mise | 38 pts
Total: Grim D. Mise | 65 pts (27 w/ Aquanets)
Aquanets Starting Roster
Busty Mayhem | Cherry Clobber | Crazy Buchanan | Grim D. Mise | Kim Gorgon | Kissy Kicks | Lez Lemon | Mother Bones | Punchy O’Guts | Rehabiliskater | T-Storm | Wrexzilla
Flannel Fatales Starting Roster
A-Block | Dollipops | Dubliner Broozes | Gunner Hands-Off | Lady GayGay | Lil’ Punisher | Mae Snap | Princess Layherout | Red-Demption | Shirley B. Slammin’ | Spry Icicle | Tri-scare-atops
