Calamity Janes End Spring 2009 Season Undefeated: Janes 71 – Jersey Shore 67
It was a shore vs shore matchup at the Portland Expo on Saturday, May 2, 2009, when the Jersey Shore Roller Girls brought their best to take on Maine’s Calamity Janes. The game opened with a scoreless jam when Janes’ jammer Grim D. Mise grabbed lead but had to call it off early to keep Jersey jammer Ciri L Killer from notching up the scoreboard first. But the second jam brought both teams some starter points when Jersey jammer Chelle Be Evil took lead but only scored 2 points to Shirley B Slammin’s 4. Things started heating up in jam 4 when Maine’s defense kicked in double-time during a powerjam for Jersey with Maine jammer The Zipper in the box from the previous jam. Jersey blockers Belle Maul Her, Ciri L Killer, Tam El Toe Stomper, and Hotrod Hussy worked hard on using their advantage with no opposing jammer, but the Maine blockers were bound and determined to eliminate their disadvantage. Fist City Kitty took jammer Push Popp to the floor, but she recovered and started to escape the pack with Jenni-vicious and Wrex Zilla still hot on her tail – unfortunately Jenni and Wrex were both granted majors for engaging the jammer outside of the engagement zone, and this left the Janes at an even greater disadvantage. But when Zipper came out of the box she played defense along with her two remaining blockers and even took out Popp once herself, and the jam ended with one grandslam for the Jersey-ites and put them in the lead at 4 – 7.
The lead was where Jersey would stay for the rest of the period, but the Janes stayed within a few points for all but the 5th jam when notable Jersey jammer Chelle B Evil took 8 points with plenty of help from the standout blocker Hotrod Hussy before The Zipper grabbed one point and Evil was forced to call, score 5 – 15. The following jam saw Maine pick up a grandslam (Shirley B Slammin’ over Nonster), with brutal jammer takedowns by Jenni-vicious and Wrex Zilla. Jersey answered with a four-pointer from Ciri putting the score at 11-19.
The Janes then held Jersey scoreless for five more jams, though Jersey also held Maine down to just 7 points in those jams. In jam 9 Maine earned a powerjam when stellar defensive blocking from Vexacious D sent jammer Chelle B Evil to the box on a major track cut, and the Zipper racked up 5 to bring the score within 3 points, 16 – 19. The next two jams were stalemates but kept the crowd on the edges of their seats. Jam 11 saw Push Popp break the pack first but missed getting lead, as Shirley B Slammin remained stuck on her first pass long enough for Popp to come back to start scoring. But as Popp reentered the pack Shirley smartly laid down the defense and took her to the floor, and neither jammer was able to score before the jam ended at two minutes. Both teams continued to take turns inching the score up while holding the other team scoreless for a few jams, and the period ended with just a two-point spread in Jersey’s favor, 28-31.
Second period looked much like the first, with mostly low-scoring jams due to both teams playing steady defense. Maine grabbed the lead back by one point in the first jam despite starting two blockers down (Jersey also started one blocker down) when Grim D. Mise took a grandslam over Nonster who was sent to the box. The next jam Shirley B Slammin’ grabbed another grandslam over the still-boxed Nonster, but Jersey then answered with five points of their own in the next jam with Chelle B Evil over Zipper, leaving the board at 38-37. The score was then frozen for three jams as Maine took lead jammer twice and Jersey once, but each time were so neck-and-neck the jammers called it before any points could be gained. Chelle B Evil took lead and started laying down some points in jam 8 only to be sent off to the box, leaving Shirley B Slammin’ to score a smooth 10, leaving the score 54-43. The action continued to be tight and exciting, and the second-to-last jam of the night had no lead jammer and both teams fighting tooth-and-nail for a few more points, leaving it 66-59 with less than a minute on the clock. As any derby fan knows a 7-point spread is way too close for comfort and Jersey knew the win was not out of reach. Maine fielded a full pack of blockers with pivot Fist City Kitty, Mary Jane Pain Train, Trouble&Strife, and WrexZilla, while Jersey started down one with pivot Cool Mo T in the box and Hotrod Hussy, Malicious Megs, and Toastface Killah on the front line. Ciri L Killer faced off against Grim D. Mise, and both teams were laying it all down on the track as Ciri took lead and Grim remained held down tight by the Jersey blockers. Ciri made it back and made quick work of scoring four points, taking the mid-jam score to 66-63, and started lapping back to score the winning 4 points. But as she approached Grim finally broke free of the pack, and with nothing but the opposing jammer to focus on the Janes blockers bottled Ciri up tight as Grim raced back to the pack and managed to sneak through for a grandslam. Even though Ciri valiantly scored four more points on her second pass, those five Maine points put the score out of reach for the time left. The final whistle came and everyone watched the scoreboard to confirm what they saw in that nail-biter of a jam, and the Calamity Janes came out on top 71-67, leaving them 3-0 in 2009 so far.
Jammer Chelle B Evil was awarded MVP for Jersey, while Janes jammer Grim D Mise was handed her third MVP this year.
