Calamity Janes 308, Fog City Rollers 54
Calamity Janes vs Fog City | April 7, 2012 | Happy Wheels, Portland ME | Bout Recap by Milhouse Van Bouten
On April 7th, 2012, international roller derby action returned to Portland as Maine Roller Derby’s Calamity Janes hosted the Fog City Shipyard Sirens from New Brunswick, Canada. The scene had an air of familiarity as the CJs had played another Canadian team (Montréal) at Happy Wheels just five weeks prior. However, the Fog City squad itself had never played Portland before. It would also serve as the competitive debut for four of MRD’s newest skaters: Wilykat, Headbutty Holly, Margot Tenenbomb and Eva LaDiva. While these four stars in the making wanted to make an impact, the young team from north of the border also wanted to leave their impression and repeat Montréal’s victory from February.
The Calamity Janes seemed to be taking their direction well from MRD all-star and Janes coach Grim D. Mise as the Maine defense appeared to dominate from the first whistle. Fog City jammers Masquerage, Nessa Quik, H-Two Oh No! and Fancy Nancy were punished for their efforts by the brutal walls formed by Maine blockers, Cherry Clobber, Busty Mayhem, Dollipops, A-Block and Red-Demption. The Siren jammers were visibly feeling the effects of the CJ traps while Janes jammers Kissy Kicks and T-Storm combined for 58-0 points in the first six jams. Fog City finally generated some offense in jam seven as Siren jammer Tacky Tammy grabbed lead away from Red-Demption and scored 4-3. The offensive kick was squashed immediately as the CJ defense continued to smother while Wilycat, Bea Nimble and Nauti Roller joined in on the offense for Maine. Tacky Tammy again put some points on the board in the final jam of the first period for the Sirens, scoring 8-4 over T-Storm and attempting to light a desperately needed fire under her team for the second half. At half-time, the Janes held a towering 177-14 lead.
At the start of period two, Kissy Kicks brought the hammer down again on Fog City with a 25-0 jam, breaking the 200-point mark for the Janes. However, the Sirens soon began showing life. Tacky Tammy and H-Two Oh No! grabbed the next two consecutive jam leads and clawed for 2 points each in jams two and three. While the points were cancelled out by Bea Nimble’s 4 points in jam three against Tacky Tammy, the Sirens continued to fight as they grabbed six leads of the next seven jams, tallying at least 3 points in each of them. While Fog City’s resilience was admirable, it was simply too little too late, as the Janes refused to release control of the game for long. Highlighted by Wilykat’s staggering 31 points in jam eight. The Calamity Janes continued to pound away at Fog City and rolled on to win 308 – 54.
Most Valuable Skaters
Calamity Janes – Kissy Kicks
Shipyard Sirens – H-Two Oh No!
Top Scorers
Calamity Janes – Kissy Kicks (117)
Shipyard Sirens – Tacky Tammy (30)
Calamity Janes Roster
A-Block | Bea Nimble | Busty Mahem | Cherry Clobber | Dollipops | Eva LaDiva | Headbutty Holly | Kissy Kicks | Margot Tenenbomb | Nauti Roller | Princess Lay Her Out | Red-Demption | T-Storm | Wilycat
Shipyard Sirens Roster
Alien She | Allie B. Bashin’ | Auburn Rubber | Buffy Slammers | Chillin’ Villain | Fancy Nancy | H-Two Oh No! | Ivana Chekabitch | Lee-Animator | Lexxie Lasher | Lil’ Chop of Horrors | Masquerage | Molly Millions | Nessa Quik | Skate Monkey Skate! | Tacky Tammy
