Calamity Janes 228, Granite State Roller Derby 96
Calamity Janes vs Granite State Legislashers | September 22, 2012 | Portland Expo, Maine | Bout Recap by Milhouse Van Bouten
Maine Roller Derby kicked off their 2012-2013 season on September 22th in Gangnam style with the Calamity Janes hosting the road-tested Legislashers of Granite State Roller Derby at the Portland Expo. The Calamity Janes had three impressive showings in early-mid 2012 with a nail-biting loss to the Sexpos from Montréal and two crushing victories over Fog City and Pair O’ Dice City. Although the Janes had a strong first half of 2012, the team also incurred remarkable lineup changes at the end of the 2011-2012 season heading into summer break. During the hiatus, the Janes tested their new roster in the B-Team Tournament in Worcester, MA, winning the bronze. The Legislashers had consistently travelled up and down New England throughout 2012 solidifying their team chemistry and eagerly brought their formidable game to test the new Janes again on their home turf.
At the first whistle, the Janes came out swinging. In the very first jam, CJ jammer Kissy Kicks took full advantage of a major penalty to GSRD jammer Marveled Mayhem to slam 24-0 points down, which would tie for the most points scored in a jam all night. Quick to rebound, the Legislashers dramatically cut the Janes momentum in jams two through four and responded in jam 5, where GSRD standout jammer Tazslamian Devil scored 17-0 over CJ jammer Wilykat. From there, both team’s defensive games took over through most of the first half, with notable sparks of offense on both sides. Bea Nimble racked up 23 points in jams six, 10 and 17 for the Janes while teammate Kissy Kicks added 18 more in jam 18. GSRD’s Tazslamian Devil drove the offense for the Legislashers, compiling 32 points in jams 11, 14, and 18. While GSRD rebounded from the Janes’ early haymaker, the jammer rotation was not quite as deep, and the Janes held onto their offensive edge through the first half, taking a 89 – 69 lead into halftime.
With the lead well-within reach, the Legislashers returned from halftime hoping to retaliate from the heavy damage they took in the first jam of the bout. Unfortunately, the Janes defense had locked in on their targets and effectively squashed those plans. Janes jammers Kissy Kicks, Bea Nimble and Wilykat established a steady single-digit march up the scoreboard while the Janes defenders rendered GSRD jammers nearly ineffective, holding them to 1 point in the first eight jams. Janes jammers Wilykat and Bea Nimble unleashed a deadly one-two punch combination in jams seven and eight, combining for 44-0 points (with Bea tying Kissy’s 24-point single jam record for the night). GSRD jammer Em Bomber scrambled to disarm the Janes’ assault, scoring 9-2 in jam nine and 8-5 in jam 12. However, the Janes defense soon snuffed out GSRD’s offensive sparks, and the Legislashers could not get the momentum back on their side. Janes jammer Eva LaDiva jumped in the point scoring mix, adding another 12 points in jam 11. Wilykat helped the Janes finish strong, racking up 17-0 points in jam 13 and 13-0 point in the 19th and final jam. The Janes came together to score a decisive win over Granite State, 228-96.
MVPs
Calamity Janes: Cherry Clobber
Legislashers: TazSlamian Devil
Top Scorers
Calamity Janes: Kissy Kicks (90)
Legislashers: TazSlamian Devil (55)
Calamity Janes Roster
Bea Nimble | Cherry Clobber | Curve Appeal | Dubliner Broozes | Eva LaDiva | Gunner Hands Off | Kissy Kicks | Margot Tenenbomb | Nauti Roller | Nicolean Dynamite | Princess Lay Her Out | Red-Demption | Tokyo Rollz | Tri-Scare-A-Tops | View Grinder | WilyKat
Legislashers Roster
Angie O’Nasty | Em Bomber | Enis Fly Trap | Fury S. Fox | Killah Beez | Krass Warfare | Make It Lorraine | Marveled Mayhem | Rabid Ruby | Rita Hateworthy | Smash Atoms | Spank Ally Sally | TazSlamian Devil | Whip it Witch
