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MRD's 1st Annual Winter Classic—To kick off the New Year you will see another match up between your Calamity Janes and RIP Tides. Come see some of our newer skaters take the track with our seasoned vets! Doors at 5, Action at 5:30

The MRD yard sale is coming right up, it’s Saturday June 27th from 10 am -2 pm at Longfellow School. Who knows what sort of amazing stuff you’ll find, we’ve got your granddad’s clothes, you could look incredible…      More...

Welcome to the Maine Roller Derby 2015 season! This season we are introducing Home Teams, which are made up entirely of Maine Roller Derby skaters who compete against each other at home rather than traveling or playing opponents from other leagues. Home T  More...

 Owen Spankins | Head Ref   T-Ref  Max Retribution    Disco Inferno  JagerMunster   Greasy O’Guts | Head Ref  Dr. Bomb | Head Ref   Last Calls McGillicuddy  Speakeasy | Announcer   Summah That | Statistician  Diamond Dan | Announcer     More...

Skaters not pictured: Dirty Lew Auburn, Eve Ends Her, Miss Sin Halo and Violet Revolver. Bloody Knuckles Betty   Trouble & Strife Vexacious D   Action Figure Amy Goldie Headlocks   Nora Spect Thunderbird   Slayra Pitts of Rage   Thighs Queen Jenn  More...

For all you lovers of independent films AND roller derby! Come join us for a screening of this amazing documentary telling the story behind the international phenomenon that is modern roller derby.. Emmy Award-winning filmmakers Robin Bond and Dave Wruck   More...

Our fresh meat have arrived and they are ready to entertain you with all they have learned.  Come see them in action and meet them, they can’t wait to play!   This will be action packed, hard hitting, and completely entertaining.  This is an all   More...

Calamity Janes vs Granite State Legislashers | September 22, 2012 | Portland Expo, Maine | Bout Recap by Milhouse Van Bouten Maine Roller Derby kicked off their 2012-2013 season on September 22th in Gangnam style with the Calamity Janes hosting the road-t  More...

Port Authorities vs. Carolina All-Stars | May 5, 2012 | Portland Expo, Maine | Bout Recap by Milhouse Van Bouten On May 5th, 2012, Maine Roller Derby’s all-star Port Authorities hosted the Carolina Rollergirls at the Portland Expo. This bout was argua  More...

Calamity Janes vs Pair O’Dice City | April 21, 2012 | Portland Expo, Maine | Bout Recap by Milhouse Van Bouten April 21st marked the return of Maine Roller Derby to their high-profile home arena, the Portland Expo. Maine’s Calamity Janes played  More...

Calamity Janes vs Fog City | April 7, 2012 | Happy Wheels, Portland ME | Bout Recap by Milhouse Van Bouten On April 7th, 2012, international roller derby action returned to Portland as Maine Roller Derby’s Calamity Janes hosted the Fog City Shipyard S  More...

Port Authorities at DC Rollergirls | April 14, 2012, DC Armory | Bout Recap by: Rock Clobster The first bout of the day saw a fierce tussle between the DC Rollergirls All-Stars (ranked #11 in the East) and the Maine Port Authorities (#10E) to lay cl  More...

Port Authories vs Connecticut Stepford Sabotage | March 17, 2012 | Happy Wheels, Portland ME | Bout Recap by Milhouse Van Bouten March 17, 2012 brought the fifth chapter of a developing rivalry between Maine Roller Derby’s Port Authorities and Connectic  More...

Calamity Janes vs Montreal Sexpos | Feb 25, 2012 | Happy Wheels, Portland ME | Bout Recap by Milhouse Van Bouten International roller derby action returned to Portland on February 25 as Maine Roller Derby’s Calamity Janes hosted Montréal Roller Derby  More...

Port Authorities vs Queen City Rollergirls | February 11, 2012 | Happy Wheels, Portland ME | Bout Recap by Milhouse Van Bouten Exactly 364 days prior to this bout, Maine Roller Derby’s Port Authorities kicked off their 2011 WFTDA year against Buffalo,  More...

February 6, 2012

2011 Skater Superlative Awards Life of the Party: A-Block Heavy Hitter: Busty Mayhem Fastest Feet: Grim D. Mise Big Mouth: A-Block Wicked Smaht: Punchy O’Guts Booty Vicious: Shirley B. Slammin’ Most Versatile Skater: Jessica Aspiras Unsung Her  More...

THANKS FOR GIVING (and giving… and giving) | Nov 19, 2011 | Happy Wheels, Portland ME | Bout Recap by Milhouse Van Bouten November 19th marked the five year anniversary of MRD’s first public bout, the Sneak Peek, and brought a different kind  More...

Calamity Janes vs Rock Coast | Oct 28, 2010 | Bout Recap by Milhouse Van Bouten THE FIRST EVER ALL-MAINE INTERLEAGUE BOUT! October 28th marked another milestone in the history of roller derby in Maine, as Happy Wheels served as host to the first ever int  More...

November 4, 2011

Wicked vs Good IV | Oct 8, 2011 | Bout Recap by Milhouse Van Bouten Maine Roller Derby’s annual tradition of intraleague competition played out another chapter on October 8th at the Portland Expo. The league was once again shuffled and split down the  More...

November 4, 2011

Maine Roller Derby wrapped up another derby year with the 2010 Awards Ceremony, held in December 17 at Bayside Bowl in Portland. In addition to the ceremony, the league introduced the fresh meat skaters to the public for the first time! Yay, fresh meats!   More...

Maine’s Leighton Images Wins Top Prize for Maine Roller Derby TV Spot Campaign featuring dynamic videography and raucous music captures the excitement of the popular sport of roller derby and takes Gold and two Silvers at the esteemed Broderson Awards,   More...

FIRST-TIME AT PLAYOFFS! “Lots of folks were focused on the Dutchland contrversy, but I didn’t want to lose sight of the good stuff we saw at this Eastern Regional playoff tournament… a) Maine. This team would have bouted a well-armed p  More...

July 25, 2011

On June 18 and 19, Maine Roller Derby ended its 2011 home season in style with back-to-back bouts, one each for the all-star Port Authorities and Calamity Janes. Accepting both challenges was the fierce and fiery Long Island Roller Rebels, who gladly mad  More...

June 4, 2011 | Portland Expo | Bout Recap by Punchy O’Guts After a big loss to Providence Killah Bees, the Calamity Janes kicked up their training in anticipation of a bout against NHRD’s home team, the Queen City Cherry Bombs. The Janes lost seve  More...

May 14, 2011 | Portland Expo | Bout Recap by Punchy O’Guts The Calamity Janes last met up with the Providence Killah Bees three years ago in June of 2008 (see recap here) with an edge-of-the-seater that went into overtime with the Bees winning by   More...

May 1, 2011 | WATERBURY, CT. Twelve hours after a close bout against the Suburban Brawl, the Port Authorities warmed up to play another sanctioned bout against Connecticut’s Stepford Sabotage. These teams know each other well, having played three t  More...

May 6, 2011

DOUBLE-HEADER IN YONKERS | April 30, 2011 YONKERS, NY. Both the Calamity Janes and the Port Authorities traveled to New York for a double-header against Suburbia Roller Derby. The Port Authorities (ranked #9 in the east) played first against the Suburban   More...

Port Authorities vs Boston Massacre | April 23, 2011 | Bout Recap by Milhouse Van Bouten PORTLAND, ME. The Boston Massacre are a team with a loyal devoted fanbase and a proud history of competency in the highest levels of competition. As a major hub in de  More...

Maine Roller Derby is wildly excited to report that the Port Authorities have broken into DNN’s Power Rankings at #24! Derby News Network, the roller derby go-to for scores, bout recaps and rankings, produces the Power Rankings, a monthly ranking of  More...

Calamity Janes 41, Boston B Party 188 Bout recap by Punchy O’Guts The Calamity Janes suffered a loss in their first bout of the 2011 season against Boston’s B Party. The bout occurred April 3rd at Happy Wheels in Portland, ME. The B Party, Bos  More...

April 1, 2011

The following recap was posted on Derby News Network. By Lady Burn Johnson WASHINGTON, DC — So far this season, the DC Rollergirls’ (officially #9 in the East via WFTDA) strategy of trying to overcome their unbroken home-turf losing streak by pla  More...

The following recap was posted on Derby News Network. By Josie Cuervo LANCASTER, PA – In a closed sanctioned game on Saturday afternoon, rising Dutchland (unofficially #25 in the nation via DNN, officially #10 East via WFTDA) continued a successful 201  More...

The Port Authorities returned home with a loss and a win to add to the record. The team played Dutchland March 25 in Lancaster, PA and played DC in DC the next day. In Amish country, the PAs were unable to defend themselves against Dutchland’s tight  More...

March 12, 2011 | Bout Recap by Milhouse Van Bouten Maine Roller Derby’s Port Authorities hosted their 2nd WFTDA-Sanctioned home bout of the year and welcomed the Garden State Rollergirls to Happy Wheels Skate Center in Portland. Garden State skated   More...

2.12.11 | Portland Maine Bout recap by Milhouse Van Bouten Maine Roller Derby’s Port Authorities opened their most ambitious season yet with a bout against Queen City Roller Girls’ Lake Effect Furies from Buffalo, NY at Happy Wheels Skate Center. The   More...

Bout recap published at Naptown Rollergirls website. Oct 23, 2010 | Indianapolis, IN Naptown Roller Girls welcomed Maine Roller Derby‘s Port Authorities to The Pepsi Coliseum for the Season Five home opener on Oct. 23rd. The rabid Naptown fans were tre  More...

Oct 16, 2010 | Happy Wheels, Portland ME Bout recap by Punchy O’Guts The Rideau Valley Vixens travelled from Ottawa, Canada to take on the Calamity Janes and went home with a huge victory. These ladies came to win and put up quite a challenge for th  More...

October 9, 2010

Oct 9, 2010: Maine Roller Derby’s third annual intraleague bout. The league is split into two teams: Team Wicked and Team Good. Video montage by Punchy O’Guts. Video submitted by Spry Icicle. Most photos by Evan Smith. Music: the theme song from that   More...

Bout Recap by Milhouse Van Bouten The atmosphere was electric. Just a week before, the Port Authorities took down the SufferJets with little effort. CT RollerGirl’s Stepford Sabotage, their opponents, returned to the Portland Expo looking for a win.   More...

Boutcast by Milhouse Van Bouten August 21st, 2010. Maine Roller Derby’s Port Authorities offered a public scrimmage in the hopes of warming up their roster to begin a brand new fall season, as well as remind the hardcore fans what they have been missing  More...

Bout Recap by Milhouse Van Bouten Maine Roller Derby hosted the Meat Grinder, a public scrimmage on June 20, 2010 at Happy Wheels, to wrap up the home season. Fresh Meat skaters and Calamity Janes players were split into 2 teams: the Porthouses and the Te  More...

Bout re-cap by Milhouse Van Bouten On June 12th 2010, Maine Roller Derby’s Calamity Janes returned to the Portland Expo. After a hard-fought win over Massachusett’s Petticoat Punishers, the Janes were looking to keep their home fans happy and contin  More...

Bout re-cap by Milhouse Van Bouten June 5th 2010 was the day, Happy Wheels the place. Maine’s All-Star Port Authorities hosted a public scrimmage at their home away from home for the first time. The quarters were somewhat cramped but loaded with die-ha  More...

Bout re-cap by Milhouse Van Bouten May 15, 2010 was the first bout for the Calamity Janes this season, facing off against the Petticoat Punishers: a team from the upstart Central Mass Roller Derby league who were collectively on a hot streak throughout  More...

Bout Re-cap by Milhouse Van Bouten Maine Roller Derby’s All-Stars returned home to Portland… with authority. April 25, 2010 marked the first home bout of the season for Maine’s Port Authorities, still stinging from a decisive loss in Steel City. Har  More...

That’s right, your hometown roller girls, Maine Roller Derby’s Port Authorities, have landed in the 8th position in WFTDA’s quarterly rankings. Our Spring Home Season kicks off on April 25th, so be sure to watch for us as we defend our position and   More...

October 10, 2009

The second annual WICKED VS GOOD intra-league bout occurred at the Portland Expo on Saturday, October 10, 2009. Final score: Wicked 113, Good 73. Wicked versus Good is the one opportunity you have to see all your favorite players on the track in a si  More...

September 26, 2009

The Calamity Janes earned a hefty win against ROC City Roller Derby’s All-star team on September 26, 2009 at the Portland Expo. The Janes set the tone early by holding ROC City to one point throughout 12 jams as they racked up 67 of their own. Toward th  More...

Bout Recap by Punchy O’Guts Maine Roller Derby’s Port Authorities, ranked #9 in the east bouted the DC Rollergirls’ All-Stars, ranked #11 in the east, in Portland Maine on August 29, 2009 in a WFTDA-sanctioned bout. Maine came out on top with a   More...

The Port Authorities scrimmaged the Brooklyn Bombshells – a home team for Gotham City Roller Girls – on Aug 23, 2009 at the Portland Expo. Final score : 105 to 58. The PAs tested a new roster and strategy against the Bombshells, proving to be a winnin  More...

PortSports and Maine Roller Derby teamed up on Saturday, August 8th, 2009 to help raise money for The Vera Foundation. A Portland organization that promotes Suicide Prevention and Awareness. View photos from the event here.  

The following recap was written by Jose Cuervo and published on Derby News Network. PORTLAND, ME — On Saturday, May 23rd, 2009 Maine Roller Derby’s Port Authorities hosted the Dutchland Derby Rollers’ All-Stars in Portland, Maine for a W  More...

“Pump up the Jammer” by SALT Institute for Documentary Studies student Sarah Danson, is “a six minute sonic glimpse into the fast moving, occasionally painful, bad ass world of women’s roller derby.” SALT’s spring students’ opening recepti  More...

It was a shore vs shore matchup at the Portland Expo on Saturday, May 2, 2009, when the Jersey Shore Roller Girls brought their best to take on Maine’s Calamity Janes. The game opened with a scoreless jam when Janes’ jammer Grim D. Mise grabbed lead b  More...

On April 25, 2009, ten MRD members walked in Walk MS Maine 2009. The Maine Roller Derby team raised over $800 in pledges and donations for the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. Team Captains were Vexacious D and Maulie MacKillem, and were join  More...

The Spring 2009 MRD television commercial, created and produced by Geoffrey Leighton of Leighton Images (with production assistance from Anna Schechter and Sandra Hrasdzira) won two prestigious awards in the Telly Awards categories of Best Use of Animati  More...

The Expo stands were filled with an expectant crowd on Saturday, April 11, 2009, when the Calamity Janes rolled out in their snappy red-and-white uniforms for their first home game of 2009. The Janes were fresh off a very strong win at an away bout agains  More...

MRD’s Calamity Janes traveled to Morristown, New Jersey to take on the non-WFTDA Morristown Madams on Saturday, March 28, 2009. Armed with three new teammates, Grim D. Mise, Shirley B. Slammin’ (both bouting for the first time) and Vexacious D (finall  More...

Maine’s all-star Port Authorities suffered their first loss at home to the Charm City All-Stars from Baltimore, MD. This game demonstrates the Port Authorities’ plan this year to play more highly-experienced, highly-ranked, and veteran teams in order   More...

February 28, 2009

Feb 28, 2009 The following recap was written by Ruby Khan of the Boston Derby Dames and published on Derby News Network. BOSTON, MA — Move over David Ortiz, the Boston Massacre are Beantown’s new grand slam champions. In a bout that saw Boston’  More...

The Port Authorities traveled to Woodbridge, CT on December 13th for a rematch against CT RollerGirls savage all-stars the Stepford Sabotage. The Sabotage once again lived up to their name by providing 60 minutes of brutal, teeth-rattling competition, wit  More...

September 27, 2008 The Calamity Janes chalked up a huge victory on Saturday September 27th, handily defeating New Hampshire Roller Derby’s Skate Free or Die 241 – 14. The fans who trudged through the rainy evening for a seat in the Expo were served up  More...

September 13, 2008 The following excerpt was written by Pussy Venom of the Boston Derby Dames and published on Derby News Network. PORTLAND, ME — On September 13th, Maine Roller Derby’s #30 ranked Port Authorities hosted Montreal’s non-WFTDA tra  More...

June 28, 2008 The Calamity Janes’ second bout was another down-to-the-wire finish, with the Hudson Valley Horrors coming out ahead by a scant three points at the final buzzer. The game started with two swift and brutal jams in which the Janes’ offense  More...

June 7, 2008 The derby fans at the Portland Expo were treated to an edge-of-the-seat, bite-the- nails-to-the-quick game when the Maine Roller Derby Calamity Janes and the Providence Killah Bees took to the track on Saturday, June 7th. The game ended in a   More...

Maine Roller Derby fans were treated to a nail-biter of a season-opener on Saturday April 12th when the Port Authorities took down the Rhode Island Riveters, 75 – 64. The Port Authorities anticipated an extremely tough match-up against such a stellar, W  More...

December 2, 2012

League Volunteer: June 2006-Dec 2010 Served as a referee, Head Ref, League Coach and Coach of the Port Authorities When his wife, The Mom Bomb, left him stranded on the road with their young child and said, “I’m leaving you for Roller Derby  More...

December 2, 2012

Start Date with MRD: January 11th 2010 Likes: Getting Tattoos & Piercings. Holding bad girls in the box. After parties. Dislikes: When Her Team Is Sent To The Box. When people call me short. Injured skaters. Favorite Food: Vodka & Candy Birthday:  More...

League Member Since: January 2010 Team: Calamity Janes Position: Jammer/Blocker League Job: merch assistant Achievements: nominated: “Best Rookie” 2010 Likes: intensity, focus and finding your edge Dislikes: complaining and excuses Motto: Do i  More...

December 2, 2012

League member dates (start-retire): November 2008- May 2010 League Positions Held: Co-Captain of Calamity Janes Team: Calamity Janes Positions: Blocker, occasional Jammer Achievements: Becoming a stronger athlete every day I skated with MRD. Being a par  More...

MRD Member: August 2010-August 2011 (transferred from Gotham Girls Roller Derby) Team: Port Authorities Position: Jammer, Blocker

December 2, 2012

League Member: March 2006-Jan 2010 Position(s) held on league: Creative Director 2006-10 Team: Port Authorities Position: Blocker

Likes: Trix, Rabbit Holes, Multiplication Dislikes: Lucky Rabbits Feet, Animal Testing My inspiration: Energizer Bunny Quote: “Of course you know, this means war.” -Bugs Bunny

Favorite Band: Pink Floyd Favorite Colors: black and bloody Favorite Foods: your flesh Special Moves: making holes in the pack on the rink Favorite Movies: Donnie Darko, Fight Club, Into the Wild Contributions to MRD: Doing independent charity project  More...

Daisy Cutter began her sojourn in life as one of two girls, in a household of four brothers possessing Herculean strength. Her “tough as nails” nature was developed through rough and tumble sparring and many games of full contact hide-and-go-s  More...

December 2, 2012

Farr•ah•mone/ˈferəˌmōn/ Noun: A chemical substance produced and released into the environment by an animal, affecting the behavior or physiology of others of its species Likes: Thunderstorms, people who can laugh at themselves, dancing without res  More...

Team: Port Authorities League member since 06/07 Position: Blocker Co-Captain of the Calamity Janes 2008-2009

December 2, 2012

Start date with the league: January 2010 Team: Calamity Janes Alternate Positions on track: Jammer, blocker, wherever I’m needed Favorite way to get in your way: Sternum block Awards & Honors: Runner up for “Most Like Her Derby Name!”  More...

December 2, 2012

Jammer, Blocker  Birthday- let’s skip formalities. i’m aquarius Occupation- registered killing machine (i work out) Favourite Song- Hall and Oates, “Maneater” Movie- The Good, The Bad and the Ugly Position- what’s yours? (in  More...

December 2, 2012

The details of Jones N’s life are difficult to relate. She personifies the definition of a “double-edged sword.” We see her, firstly, as a humble human, so selfless that it makes Mother Teresa weep. In contrast to her martyr-like persona  More...

League member: March 2006-July 2010 League Positions Held: Head of P/R & Marketing 4/07-6/09, Co-Captain of Port Authorities 1/10-6/10, Training Committee Volunteer 1/11-present Team: Port Authorities Positions: Jammer, Blocker, Pivot Achievements:   More...

Start Date with League: October 12th, 2009 League Position(s): Safety Squad Manager 2/10-present Teams: Calamity Janes and Port Authorities Alternate Position(s): Pivot or Blocker Day Jobs: Product Specialist and Firefighter / EMT Position: Blocker Aliase  More...

Position: Blocker League Member: 9/06 Aliases: Loblow, Blowis, Mama Low Favorite Drink: Sidecar Occupation: Hair Stylist Extraordinaire Theme Song: TNT by ACDC Achievements: MVP 4/12/08 MRD Port Authorities vs. PRD Riveters Parent of Lil Blow Pop El  More...

League Member: January 2008-June 2010 Position(s) held with league: Interleague Liaison, WFTDA Lead, Insurance Team(s): Calamity Janes, PA alternate Position(s): Pivot, Blocker Achievements: 2010 Best Offensive Player   Hometown: Windham Maine Birthd  More...

League Member: 05/07-04/09 & 10/10-10/11 Position with league: Head of Art Department 5/10-1/11 Position: jammer / blocker (with a different kind of love for both positions) Achievements: Best Fashion Skatement/Best Boutfit at 2010 year end awards Tri  More...

December 2, 2012

League Member: May 2006 – July 2009 Freshmeat Coach:  August 2009 – July 2010 Positions held: Head of PR & Marketing, Head of Finance, Co-Captain Port Authorities, Training Committee member, WFTDA rep Team: Port Authorities Position(s): p  More...

Joined MRD: Aug 2010 Team: Calamity Janes Position(s): Blocker Quote: “Whatever the fight, don’t be ladylike.”

League Member: Dec 2006-July 2010 Positions held: Head of Training, Head of Inter-league Relations Team: Port Authorities Position(s): Jammer, blocker

And now a haiku about Patty O’ Mean: Patty O’ Mean likes her cat and her other cat. Likes Roller Derby!

December 2, 2012

December 2, 2012

MRD Member: August 2010-August 2011 (transferred from Gotham Girls Roller Derby) Team: Port Authorities Position: Jammer, Blocker

December 2, 2012

Joined MRD: January 2010 Zodiac Sign: The sure-footed & stubborn, Capricorn! Ethnicity: Choctaw-Apache Tribe of Ebarb Best Physical Feature: My freckles, of course!! Favorite Quote: “Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by t  More...

Zodiac sign: Aquarius Likes: Vodka, dancing the polka Dislikes: Polish jokes, show tunes Quote: Toughness doesn’t have to come in a pin-striped suit. Roxxy was abandoned at birth and raised in a Polish orphanage where she was forced to cook, clean a  More...

Hers was no life of luxury, but Sheila Blige 24/7 reveled in a hard-fought freedom. With a mighty axe and cabin in the trees, Sheila worked the land beside her rugged mountain man, flanked by pet squirrel Oakie and lean, mean terrier machine, Milo. Huntin  More...

Start date with the league: Tried out in November of 2009. Began playing January 4, 2010 Positions held on league with dates: Flyer Wrangler, Fall 2010-Present Team(s): Calamity Janes Position(s) on track: Jammer/Blocker Position: Wherever I am needed O  More...

MRD member: 06/2006 – 08/2009 (transfered to Garden State Rollergirls) Position(s) held with league: MRD Webmistress, MRD Sponsorship Head, MRD New Recruits Contact Team(s): Calamity Janes, Port Authorities Alternate Day Job: Hacker. Position:   More...

League Member: March 2006-May 2010 League positions held: owner of MRD, LLC, Treasurer, Head of New Recruits, Head of Intra-league Relations, League Secretary, Captain of the Port Authorities Team: Port Authorities Position(s): Pivot, Blocker Most known f  More...