Categories Archives: Retired Skaters

Skaters not pictured: Dirty Lew Auburn, Eve Ends Her, Miss Sin Halo and Violet Revolver. Bloody Knuckles Betty   Trouble & Strife Vexacious D   Action Figure Amy Goldie Headlocks   Nora Spect Thunderbird   Slayra Pitts of Rage   Thighs Queen Jenn  More...

2015 Travel Team Coach 2014 Coach of the Calamity Janes Joined MRD: Sept 2011 League Position: Head of Promotional Events Team: R.I.P.Tides, Port Authorities Many people don’t know that candle leaping was once a form of divination or fortune telling  More...

League Member Since: January 2010 Team: Calamity Janes Position: Jammer/Blocker League Job: merch assistant Achievements: nominated: “Best Rookie” 2010 Likes: intensity, focus and finding your edge Dislikes: complaining and excuses Motto: Do i  More...

December 2, 2012

League member dates (start-retire): November 2008- May 2010 League Positions Held: Co-Captain of Calamity Janes Team: Calamity Janes Positions: Blocker, occasional Jammer Achievements: Becoming a stronger athlete every day I skated with MRD. Being a par  More...

February 13, 2014

What derby position(s) do you play? Blocker League position(s) held? (past and/or present) Member @ Large BOD Favorite Derby Accomplishment(s) / Proudest Moment? the transition from newbie to Veteran skater When did you join MRD? September 2013 What I do   More...

MRD Member: August 2010-August 2011 (transferred from Gotham Girls Roller Derby) Team: Port Authorities Position: Jammer, Blocker

Also known as Rosie.

December 2, 2012

League Member: March 2006-Jan 2010 Position(s) held on league: Creative Director 2006-10 Team: Port Authorities Position: Blocker

Likes: Trix, Rabbit Holes, Multiplication Dislikes: Lucky Rabbits Feet, Animal Testing My inspiration: Energizer Bunny Quote: “Of course you know, this means war.” -Bugs Bunny

Joined MRD: January 2011 may·hem: /ˈmeɪhɛm, ˈmeɪəm/ [mey-hem, mey-uhm] noun 1. Law. The crime of willfully inflicting a bodily injury on another so as to make the victim less capable of self-defense or, under modern statutes, so as to cripple   More...

Favorite Band: Pink Floyd Favorite Colors: black and bloody Favorite Foods: your flesh Special Moves: making holes in the pack on the rink Favorite Movies: Donnie Darko, Fight Club, Into the Wild Contributions to MRD: Doing independent charity project  More...

League Member since: August 2010 League Position(s) held: Head of Events November 2010-November 2011, Head of Marketing November 2011-present Team: Calamity Janes, Port Authorities Position: Blocker Injuries: provided upon request Likes: crazycherry  More...

League member since: Aug 2010 Team: Calamity Janes, Port Authorities Position(s): jammer, blocker As a young debutante, Crazy enjoyed a carefree existence filled with parties, booze, jazz, and flaunting her disdain for ladylike behavior.  Emotionally vo  More...

Aliases Whip, Little Whippa What derby position(s) do you play? (or your favorite) Blocker/sometimes Jammer Objective Jammer – To move through the pack faster than a speeding bullet. Blocker To cause blunt force trauma. Favorite Quote “If you  More...

Joined MRD: Sept 2011 League Position(s): Member of Grievances and Mediation Committee and League Advocacy Committee Team: R.I.P.Tides, Calamity Janes “Curb Appeal” is the initial impression of a property from the street that tells you very l  More...

What derby position(s) do you play? Blocker League position(s) held? (past and/or present) Sponsorship/Development Favorite Derby Accomplishment(s) / Proudest Moment? Coming Out Bout 2015 When did you join MRD? Fall 2015 What MRD team do you play on? Jane  More...

Daisy Cutter began her sojourn in life as one of two girls, in a household of four brothers possessing Herculean strength. Her “tough as nails” nature was developed through rough and tumble sparring and many games of full contact hide-and-go-s  More...

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December 2, 2012

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Farr•ah•mone/ˈferəˌmōn/ Noun: A chemical substance produced and released into the environment by an animal, affecting the behavior or physiology of others of its species Likes: Thunderstorms, people who can laugh at themselves, dancing without res  More...

Team: Port Authorities League member since 06/07 Position: Blocker Co-Captain of the Calamity Janes 2008-2009

What derby position(s) do you play? Whatever my coach asks me to!! League position(s) held? (past and/or present) Safety Committee Favorite Derby Accomplishment(s) / Proudest Moment? Making it onto a TEAM!!! Being part of MRD! Trying new and scary things!  More...

December 2, 2012

Start date with the league: January 2010 Team: Calamity Janes Alternate Positions on track: Jammer, blocker, wherever I’m needed Favorite way to get in your way: Sternum block Awards & Honors: Runner up for “Most Like Her Derby Name!”  More...

TEAM : The Port Authorities Joined MRD: October 2008; Official league member since January 14th, 2009 Position(s) held:  -Training Committee 2010-present -Coach, Calamity Janes 2012-2013 Team(s):  -Calamity Janes 2009 -Port Authorities 2009-present AC  More...

Famous for her amazing on-skates impression of X-Wings, Tie Fighters, and AT-ATs.    Like Gunner Hands Off on Facebook!

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Oh boy! After an aviation mishap, Headbutty Holly decided to think it over in her pretty little head. She chose to drop the rock but keep the roll. Now everyday, she’s eager to tell the competition how it’s gonna be, and her love for roller derby will  More...

What derby position(s) do you play? Blocker League position(s) held? (past and/or present) Volunteer Coordinator Grievance Committee When did you join MRD? 10/13 What I do off-skates? (hobbies, job, etc) Owner of Wildflours Gluten-Free Bakery My derby nam  More...

December 2, 2012

Jammer, Blocker  Birthday- let’s skip formalities. i’m aquarius Occupation- registered killing machine (i work out) Favourite Song- Hall and Oates, “Maneater” Movie- The Good, The Bad and the Ugly Position- what’s yours? (in  More...

What derby position(s) do you play? Blocker League position(s) held? (past and/or present) WFTDA rep, Web Team, Currently Head of Social Media Favorite Derby Accomplishment(s) / Proudest Moment? Taking the silver medal at All 8 On The Floor tournament in   More...

League Member Since: Feb 2008 Current League Positions:Captain of the All-Star Team & Finance DirectorCoach of the Calamity JanesInterleague Liaison & WFTDA Head 2008-2009 Current Team: Port Authorities Positions: Jammer, Pivot & Blocker A  More...

December 2, 2012

The details of Jones N’s life are difficult to relate. She personifies the definition of a “double-edged sword.” We see her, firstly, as a humble human, so selfless that it makes Mother Teresa weep. In contrast to her martyr-like persona  More...

League member: March 2006-July 2010 League Positions Held: Head of P/R & Marketing 4/07-6/09, Co-Captain of Port Authorities 1/10-6/10, Training Committee Volunteer 1/11-present Team: Port Authorities Positions: Jammer, Blocker, Pivot Achievements:   More...

Joined MRD: 2011 (transferred from Windy City) League Position: Team: R.I.P.Tides

What derby position(s) do you play? Jammer League position(s) held? (past and/or present) Training Committee Favorite Derby Accomplishment(s) / Proudest Moment? Winning MVP Jammer at the 2013 All Eight On The Floor Tournament and for Pantsing Curve in tha  More...

Owner of Turn Two Skate Shop.   Like Kissy Kicks on Facebook!

Start Date with League: October 12th, 2009 League Position(s): Safety Squad Manager 2/10-present Teams: Calamity Janes and Port Authorities Alternate Position(s): Pivot or Blocker Day Jobs: Product Specialist and Firefighter / EMT Position: Blocker Aliase  More...

Start date with the league: October 12, 2009 Positions held on league: League Secretary and Head of New Recruits Nov 2010-present Team(s): Port Authorities, Calamity Janes Position(s): Blocker (have jammed previously) Awards & Honors: Best Rooki  More...

Position: Blocker League Member: 9/06 Aliases: Loblow, Blowis, Mama Low Favorite Drink: Sidecar Occupation: Hair Stylist Extraordinaire Theme Song: TNT by ACDC Achievements: MVP 4/12/08 MRD Port Authorities vs. PRD Riveters Parent of Lil Blow Pop El  More...

February 13, 2014

About Lolo Lolo was born in a small tireswing, south of mexico. She attended a school called Stalebread Academy until the age of 3. It was then that she was expelled for flinging pickles at a teacher’s head. An orphan, she was taken in by a group of  More...

Start date with the league: August 2009 Team: Calamity Janes Positions on track: Blocker, Aspiring Pivot Achievements: Most +/- Meat Grinder 2010, Most Shutouts Meat Grinder 2010 Born into a traveling family of vaudevillians, Mae began a performance caree  More...

Joined MRD: Sept 2011 League Position: Calamity Janes tri-captain Team: R.I.P.Tides, Calamity Janes   Like Margot Tenenbomb on Facebook!

League Member: January 2008-June 2010 Position(s) held with league: Interleague Liaison, WFTDA Lead, Insurance Team(s): Calamity Janes, PA alternate Position(s): Pivot, Blocker Achievements: 2010 Best Offensive Player   Hometown: Windham Maine Birthd  More...

On her 16th birthday, Maul E. Ringwald closed her eyes, blew out her 16 candles and wished for one thing: love. Over the years there were many who tried to win her heart, but nothing seemed to stick. It wasn’t until many years later, and many miles trav  More...

League Member: 05/07-04/09 & 10/10-10/11 Position with league: Head of Art Department 5/10-1/11 Position: jammer / blocker (with a different kind of love for both positions) Achievements: Best Fashion Skatement/Best Boutfit at 2010 year end awards Tri  More...

December 2, 2012

League Member: May 2006 – July 2009 Freshmeat Coach:  August 2009 – July 2010 Positions held: Head of PR & Marketing, Head of Finance, Co-Captain Port Authorities, Training Committee member, WFTDA rep Team: Port Authorities Position(s): p  More...

Joined MRD: Aug 2010 Team: Calamity Janes Position(s): Blocker Quote: “Whatever the fight, don’t be ladylike.”

Joined MRD: Sept 2011 League Position: Team: R.I.P.Tides, Port Authorities   Like Nauti Roller on Facebook!

Joined MRD: Sept 2011 League Position: Team: R.I.P.Tides, Calamity Janes   Like Nicoleon Dynamite on Facebook!

Nutritional Beast came from space to start a rock band, but upon the discovery that Earth-rocks lack tonal pizzazz abandoned that dream to draw werewolves and skate really fast in an oval-shape. She skated a season with the Bleeding Heartland Rollergirls   More...

League Member: Dec 2006-July 2010 Positions held: Head of Training, Head of Inter-league Relations Team: Port Authorities Position(s): Jammer, blocker

What derby position(s) do you play? (or your favorite) Mostly jammer, but I like blocking too! League position(s) held? (past and/or present) HR Favorite Derby Accomplishment(s) / Proudest Moment? Getting MVJ in Bangor with the Janes at my first ever bout  More...

And now a haiku about Patty O’ Mean: Patty O’ Mean likes her cat and her other cat. Likes Roller Derby!

December 2, 2012

December 2, 2012

MRD Member: August 2010-August 2011 (transferred from Gotham Girls Roller Derby) Team: Port Authorities Position: Jammer, Blocker

What derby position(s) do you play? blocker League position(s) held? (past and/or present) TBD Favorite Derby Accomplishment(s) / Proudest Moment? training weekend with London Roller girls before moving to Maine When did you join MRD? August 2014 What I d  More...

Joined MRD: August 2010 In a galaxy far far away Princess LayHerOut got shot to earth when a comet hit her.  She landed at the Portland Expo door, and observed MRD in session.  Watching the roller derby she decided if she could be hit by a comet then su  More...

2014 Coach of the Port Authorities THE BASICS Team: Port Authorities Position: Pivot / Blocker / Captain League Member since: Sept 2006 POSITIONS HELD WITH MRD Training Coordinator: May-June 2012 President of Board of Directors: Nov 2011-May 2012 Web  More...

Joined MRD: Jan 2011 Day job: ER nurse Zodiac sign: Cancer Favorite Food: sandwiches Favorite Drinks: IPA, wine and vodka Hobbies: hiking, biking, travel, building igloos Dislikes: slow drivers, olives, delayed flights, toe socks Favorite Quote: “L  More...

December 2, 2012

Joined MRD: January 2010 Zodiac Sign: The sure-footed & stubborn, Capricorn! Ethnicity: Choctaw-Apache Tribe of Ebarb Best Physical Feature: My freckles, of course!! Favorite Quote: “Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by t  More...

Zodiac sign: Aquarius Likes: Vodka, dancing the polka Dislikes: Polish jokes, show tunes Quote: Toughness doesn’t have to come in a pin-striped suit. Roxxy was abandoned at birth and raised in a Polish orphanage where she was forced to cook, clean a  More...

Hers was no life of luxury, but Sheila Blige 24/7 reveled in a hard-fought freedom. With a mighty axe and cabin in the trees, Sheila worked the land beside her rugged mountain man, flanked by pet squirrel Oakie and lean, mean terrier machine, Milo. Huntin  More...

League Member since: Oct 2008 League Position(s) held:League Mediator Team: Port Authorities, Calamity Janes Coach of the Port Authorities Position: Blocker / Jammer Achievements: MVP of Wicked vs Good 2009, Best Booty Block 2010 Born and raised in th  More...

What derby position(s) do you play? I think I’m meant to be a blocker… League position(s) held? (past and/or present) Safety committee Favorite Derby Accomplishment(s) / Proudest Moment? Getting lead jammer in the first jam of my first bout! W  More...

What derby position(s) do you play? Pivot League position(s) held? (past and/or present) Captain 2014 RIP Tides, 2014 Fresh Meat Leadership Favorite Derby Accomplishment(s) / Proudest Moment? I was so proud of my 2014 RIP Tides for all their hard work in   More...

Start date with the league: Tried out in November of 2009. Began playing January 4, 2010 Positions held on league with dates: Flyer Wrangler, Fall 2010-Present Team(s): Calamity Janes Position(s) on track: Jammer/Blocker Position: Wherever I am needed O  More...

What derby position(s) do you play? I love to block and jam! Favorite Derby Accomplishment(s) / Proudest Moment? Playing with my team in the coming out bout, with the support of my wonderful friends and family. When did you join MRD? Fall 2014 What I do o  More...

Sugarbush ran since birth. She ran to a remote Caribbean isle where feral goats and land crabs bickered in the mangroves. She ran to the great white Yukon, where the sun rose and set for eight hours of each day, and starved wolves begged for raisins on th  More...

League Member since:  January 2010 Team: Calamity Janes, Port Authorities Position: Co-Captain 2011, Blocker, Jammer in-training Day Job: Waitress & Baker Like T-Storm on Facebook!

MRD member: 06/2006 – 08/2009 (transfered to Garden State Rollergirls) Position(s) held with league: MRD Webmistress, MRD Sponsorship Head, MRD New Recruits Contact Team(s): Calamity Janes, Port Authorities Alternate Day Job: Hacker. Position:   More...

League Member: March 2006-May 2010 League positions held: owner of MRD, LLC, Treasurer, Head of New Recruits, Head of Intra-league Relations, League Secretary, Captain of the Port Authorities Team: Port Authorities Position(s): Pivot, Blocker Most known f  More...

re.ha.bil.i.skate v. 1. to restore a person to normal life by training, after a period of illness or imprisonment BY MOVING VERY FAST ON 8 WHEELS. League Positions Held Vice Chair, current. Member of Safety Committee, Grievance & Mediation Team, Promo  More...

Favorite quote: Iceberg right ahead!!! On her maiden voyage, Thigh Tanic struck an iceberg off the shores off of Portland Maine, Luckily she was rescued by Maine’s very on Port Authorities. Watch Out. Now she truly is UNSINKABLE! Tanic has been ska  More...

Joined MRD: Jan 2011 Zodiac sign: Taurus Favorite color: Orange Favorite drink: Dark and Stormy Favorite things: Beer, singing in the shower, freestyle walking, baby dinosaurs Favorite quote: “When God gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS.” –   More...

What derby position(s) do you play? Blocker League position(s) held? (past and/or present) Official recruitment and retention Favorite Derby Accomplishment(s) / Proudest Moment? Being able to skate backwards When did you join MRD? June 2015 What I do off-  More...

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As dawn arose over the junkyard, WrexZilla rubs her eyes. Another day in the hood she says to herself. WrexZilla was ready to break free from the walls of this South Compton trash heap. Just as she was ready to climb the wall of washers, dryers, and dilap  More...